So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
