It's like God shit irony all over that family
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
