No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
