your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
