In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
