While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
