Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
