I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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