i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need water and some morals
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
