Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
