the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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