no, he came in my armpit
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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