That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
