awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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