Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
