Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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