my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
