It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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