I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
