May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
