Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
