Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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