I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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