a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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