even my farts smell like vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
