Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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