Having a random hookup so left but love u
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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