ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
