I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize