Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
