I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
