wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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