why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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