oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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