Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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