If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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