I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize