I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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