at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
