I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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