did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
