I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
