you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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