Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize