found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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