She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
