and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
