That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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