The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
