Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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