very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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