Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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