May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
