she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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