end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
