new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
