Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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