I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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