using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
