dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
