I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize