you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
