she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
