Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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